He had as many as 7 girls on the side, some of which he was having sex with, some to just feed his ego. A courageous man that has more love and grace in his heart choosing forgiveness and to support and love her instead of walking away. When he eventually sobers up and stops drinking and seeks help, we won’t be there any longer. i knew damn well that it was his behavior and attitude. and appears quite happy and normal while behaving this way. It has taken years for us to come to grips with the fact my wife has BP. I love this man and it makes me so sick to think of who has become.he was a great person when I met him, he has been a great father and now he is just a sad human being. been with my gf for just over a year and had all the same issues , texting other guys , flirting but not caught her cheating , she swears blind that she would never cheat and never has in all past relationships but too many little things just don’t make me trust her I don’t know if I have done the right thing or not. She was diagnosed actually by our marriage cousoler who saw it in our first meeting but it told a couple months to get her to go through the testing for it. It sounds like me talking, what you have described. its not the sex I was after but rather the affection. This disease will hurt you more than it will hurt him for sure. What if their are kids involved to? I gave this marriage 110% and continuously read and learned about bipolar to deal accordingly. My hurt is real, My pain is real, Knowing he is BP does not make me feel better. She told me all this at the time because she was annoyed with it and told him she wasn’t interested. She has agreed recently to take antabuse on a daily basis, and it’s fine during the week but last week Thursday she stopped because of a party we were going to on a weekend, and we both wanted to drink. any time i tried to communicate he was nasty as all hell. he lost his job in june of 2010 stating that it was due to the economy. Perhaps the most painful part is the betrayal of self, which is almost impossible to do unless you have it all together all the time in which case why would you put yourself through this? I thought I was different. I’m the only one who knows this … no friends, prob not even his psychiatrist knows this. Video: Living Day-to-Day With Bipolar. She refused to give in because she felt like she would not be in control if she could not say no. I really feel for you. he is 53 and had his first major bout of depression at 19. he had no manic episodes until this past spring/summer. I only see him when he comes home to take a shower. I am 39 and ive had 22,25,27 yr olds….the young ones were the ones i wanted, they made me feel young, a whole other generation i was not a part of but suddenly i was (or i thought so) it made me feel alive again, made me feel sexy. She claimed the devil was in her and the devil wants us to spilt up. He’s got in about 3 grands worth of debt that I didn’t know about trying to impress her, she had been seeing multiple other people and had admitted that she didn’t love him and was only using him for money!! On occasion she still becomes convinced that divorce is the best thing for us, with the usual devastating emotional effect on me. please know that before paxil, he and i were best friends, soul mates forever. Do i walk on eggs for the rest of my life?? I want you to all know that things can get better. So, it doesn’t matter whether she is ill or not, kick her ass, divorce imediatelly, find a good woman ( is there a lot over there waiting for you) and be happy! We had no children due to fertility issues. My insecurities and accusations made him do it. Do,eyour situation is the same as mine. I’m going to say after all I have been reading that it very well could be BP. I spend my time looking after kids (which is great) and going work. She would have him contact her from numbers she would think I would not recognize. I was trying to be her personal cheerleader every day and everyone who knew me noticed that the life and joys I had before were sucked out of me the minute she was in my presence. Many of the posters here sound like loving, committed partners. If it were me, I’d tell my wife how much I loved her, that she seemed not to be herself, and I’m concerned about her health. I have to admit though, I am still conflicted sometimes. It’s easier for me to paint a proper visual. Good luck to all its not easy. I think that life is about choice. I was on Ashley Madison. I was losing my mind. all I ever wanted was the man I married back but the last three years have been torture. That woman bought an air ticket for him to fly to Vermont where she lives. It’s about living the amends – which includes hearing how much pain the person has caused. She constantly has to stay busy and if she is not, she is SO terribly hard to deal with. Only when they experience extreme consequences from their drinking do they change, if ever. I could get all upset about that, demand a divorce, etc. Thank you for your story! Good luck to all of you, and if I am able to give any advise from my experience, it would be to appreciate the time, love, loyalty and devotion that a partner of a BP puts in. I feel so bad for you guys that are going through this. The only thing I regret is not trying to help her with BPD when I had the chance. It is so sad, indeed. Its taken every once of self control not to drop a hot one in this guys head. I agree with you 100%. Telling everyone I am controlling and only care about myself. It’s the lying that hurts more than anything. He does not admit to taking any drugs but I found out that he was talking to one of the patients in the hospital that was an admitted drug dealer (prescription drugs). She up and out of the blue told me she was going to go “somewhere” and not tell me where or when she would be home. Saturday I caught him in a lie about talking to another woman, another patient he met. None of them worked, and some made things worse and in conjunction with various sleep meds, they finally gave up and prescribed Effexor, which basically acts as a suicide deterrent, as on that, she still experiences manic and depression episodes. Monitor your moods and seek help as soon as you spot the signs of an impending mood episode. We separated at the end of December because he was determined to make me quit my job so that he could travel overseas on a humanitarian mission to a war torn country leaving me with no income and a home about to be foreclosed. After a few months he returned to my home state and convinced me that he was a changed man and asked me to marry him. She came home one day and said she no longer loved me and then got in her car and left for 3 days (before cell phones existed). I feel absoutley sick to my stomach and am lost. you are a very strong individual,she is ill,speak to your gp and ask to be referred to a specialist with your spouse,do not think you are weak or to blame because you are NOT!! I immediately confronted her and she first told me nothing was going on, then that it was “only just us hanging out the past week or so.” I confronted her about the love texts, and she fessed up to everything. She is forty , very pretty and very lonely.. It helps not to feel alone. He spends his work money, along with his student loan money to buy stereos, tatoos, and alcohol, etc. She crashed and started have 30 to 50 emotional and mood changes in a day. Right now he is shutting me out. To be honest, men don’t deserve to be cheated by any woman. Her Bipolar disorder is severe, and her narcissism prevents her from admitting anything to me amd from taking responsibility for what she has done. I was totally gutted, hadn’t seen the signs and obviously just choose to believe what I wanted to. I am married to a bipolar man. I have never ever loved before like this and I want to make sure what I am thinking is corrret and not a racional thought, My wife has Bi polar. Let him deal with her crazy shit; I’m exhausted. are you still with him? But the truth is, I love my little girl and I still love my wife. After 6 years of a good marriage, my wife started acting very different and had an affair last summer which I found out about in August. I told her I can’t MAKE her happy, I can only support her and love her and try my best to help her be happy, but ultimately, she has to be the one to take action to fix her illness. I knew about all his affairs but I tried to hope he would realize one day and get help to take care of his son. We had issues throughout the years with relapsing from drinking and drugs and we actually divorced and remmaried a couple of years ago. I started drinking fairly regularly and looking for excuses to go out with my friends. My wife’s constant crushes and falling in love with other men has driven me into depression. You choose to do the right thing or the wrong thing. At the age of 36, after decades of struggle with erratic mood swings—periods of mania followed by debilitating depression—and ample doses of anxiety and frustration, Julie Kraft, a mother of three, was finally diagnosed with bipolar II disorder in 2010. What finally broke the camel’s back was finding out about her 7 month affair to a school teacher, a client of hers. I had hoped i could take good care of him, help him thru therapy, and get him to the right medication. I have not cheated on my husband but I feel I came close..developing a relationship, albeit platonic, with another man, and my husband found out. I’m kind of going through the same thing. I still believe my ex was only sorry that he got caught, and not that he hurt me. He felt bad for me, but told me that she was addicted to the self-medication, that being the fantasy life with “Dom.” She promised no more contact. Your email address will not be published. And during that time, I made some awful mistakes I’m thoroughly ashamed of. My wife has just found out about three weeks ago…she is my childhood sweetheart and she is DEVASTATED…she has studied psychology so understands what I have but that doesn’t stop the pain. I know that God has provided for me and my kids, I pray that my Hubby is not so lost that he can’t find his way back to Christ and his family. Intensely damaging to this bipolar marriage. I would love to hear how your situation unfolds. This one was the worst. She fessed up to sleeping with him also, and that she wasn’t planning on telling me until she was “Sure how she felt” about him. It would seem to the world and to me that he was head over heals for me, just don’t understnad how he could just up and do this. The latest was a guy she worked with 20 years ago who she reconnected with on facebook. I asked her why and she said it was because I don’t make her happy any more, and that he does (aka – he gives her the emotional highs that she drained me of the ability to continue giving her.) My therapist told me he was Bipolar2. After the birth of my 2nd child Ellie, my mental health changed dramatically. after two months he came home because i fell down some stairs and really hurt myself. She had debt after debt, spent all the kids’ savings, and even remortgaged the family home for $100k and spent the lot. I was just diagnosed with Bipolar Depression and I am still in shock I think. I knew it for a very long time, from the time that she first denied her doctor the chance to help her. It is misery for my poor husband and misery for me. However, my husband, younger son, and myself are very tired of dealing with is irresponsible and self-destructive lifestyle. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and other substances (including over-the-counter medications and energy drinks) that stimulate the brain. Hot New # 1. After his divorce he stayed by himself, no sex or relationships until he can figure out what he wants and how to get a handle on what he has. ( Log Out / I have been talking to a therapist and they believe that she is BP but could not confirm unless she is assessed. So where did things end up? He is never here, but we have been dealing with his filthy room. I had sole custody but when I had to leave the state for employment purposes, he lied and said that he didn’t about my possible move if I couldn’t find a full time job in his hometown. But it scares me that they are described as emotionless, selfish, no remorse. One minute he was my close loving husband and then he would switch…He even ignored the kids.. My health was affected living with this hot/cold behaviour.. I tried to speak to him and let him and let him know that we needed to move forward and not start old habits. I have had five years of hell. I have never trusted anyone more than I trusted my wife and once I found out the truth I also found out everything she had been hiding and secretly living. He always says he hates life because it revolves around money. Recently she flashed her boobs at a party and I was very upset about it. TO SOMBERMOM, The girl he cheated with was shipped off back to her family. One day last November, my wife woke up angry. We got counseling from our pastor the last time but I just feel I shouldn’t put myself in the position for him to hurt me this way again. He’s on disability now we could loose everything. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Okay Okay… He is BP… Thats no excuse. There is a long history in her family, mom sisters, brother, uncles, 1st cousins ect… I can see it’s in the genes for sure. Some was and other times I developed some bad habits. That I won’t be a monster that will keep hurting my husband and family. on May 20 I received an email from one of his “friends” about a girlfriend he had while he was living outside our home. I want to do the right thing. My main aim is to get things out in the open so people do not have to feel alone and experience guilt, shame and self-loathing during or after an episode of being unwell. She was just diagnosed BP today.she signed the divorce papers after her appointment with her new doctor.he wants to see how the low dose of seroquel her np prescribed her works for the next few weeks.she says pot is the only thing that takes away her pain so she is continuing to do it daily with this scumbag.she knows now that this is for sure her sickness that she has suspected all along but still feels that she is in love with the other guy and can’t come back because of it.she is ashamed to face family and friends.but IV assured her that they all know that this is bipolar and not her.they all miss her too and want her back in our lives.she made sure to ask me if I would tell my parents she was diagnosed bipolar.she says she is always depressed and crying and cannot sleep anymore.she has been in this episode for about 2 months as far as I can tell.the beginning seemed manic and hypersexual.i think she still is hypersexual with this guy but she is always down and crying unless she is high.when and will the real her come back?she said that she is afraid that if she did and this happened again that she would kill herself for sure.i told her that since she has been diagnosed that treatment will get her well and happy again.I promised her that and that her family is here in her real home with me.should I give up hope?when will this end?I’m doing all I can to understand this disease.
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